A grim day in blog land...

Hello internet friends. I trust that the Universe is treating you all well. Sadly, I must report that the Powers that Be are not so friendly to me. It seems my life has taken a dip into a downward spiral, right into a puddle of mud and dragged around by its testicles until they were eventually pulled off. My brother went to prison for dog rape on the same day that my mother was skin-pinched to death while the girl that I sometimes love up and left me for a muscular version of Ryan B. Doyle.

Living is as cruel a venture as cruel ventures go. It feels like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. But my heart is so black and lifeless that I can’t even feel how terribly painful it is. My soul is stomped mush. My brain is achy and stuffy. My toes are… itchy.

My future seems bleak. I feel like a nobody in a world full of somebodies. It must be because my insides have been reduced to rubble and hollowed out only to be put inside a piñata so women of the world can whack it with sticks.

How can a person with such darkness inside ever fully go on living? Why, oh why have I been cursed? Will I ever learn to smile again?





… If my blogs ever sound like this somebody fucking kill me. Treat me like Old Yellar and blow a shotgun sized round through my skull and put me out of my misery. The internet has offered society two things: Midget Porn and a voice. The most frustrating thing is most people will use that voice to complain endlessly about movies, music and everything else under the sun. The other half spends their time expressing to others how hard living is, or how sad they are, or posting their shitty poetry.

I’m all for freedom of speech, but when you use that freedom to spout out the most useless information to the world it just becomes a waste. It’s also self pitying and pathetic. Get a journal. Buy a diary. Confide this information to your friends. Stop wasting time getting people to feel bad for you. Find your sense of self respect, because you’re not adding anything new, you’re just encouraging weak behavior.

The Universe isn’t fickle or vengeful. The Universe helps you become a stronger person. Just when you think that you’ve conquered one problem it throws another at you, yes, this is true. The reason it does that is because it finally knows you’re strong enough to get through it. To keep going. We live to strengthen ourselves and to be better people for the ones we care about the most.

Pain shouldn’t be used as a rod to fish for compliments. Pain is a tool you use to educate others, or to help people out when they're down. The reason we feel is to understand others when they’re feeling blue. No pain is the same, but you have to keep going. Take another step. Don’t stand still and watch things crumble, be strong enough to stop the collapse.

You have to keep going in life, face things dead on, and fuck, stop complaining all the time!


What Ryan's listening to: "Splinter's Out" by Golden State